I’ll Never Set My Pride Aside

I am, the offspring of two African American rulers

of their own galaxies

dropped me off so they could

fulfill their own fantasies

i am. Ahniya Talia Mitchell

the true atm

i give to not receive i know nothing more

but my uniqueness

sometimes my bleakness

trying to hide my weaknesses

so they can’t be used against me

but i’ll never put my pride aside.

like how red i feel when i’m angry

my melanin is a shade different like a bruised blackberry

bc the darker the berry the sweeter the juice

the juice only ever been so sweet because

i knew very little about my roots

but we make these beats

beats that get us up and going right on our feet

dancing without a wink of sleep but

these vivacious red hearts gives everything

a reason to breathe.

to breathe in the smell of orange induced items

like oranges themselves of course

like how when i wear orange i look like a

full course meal ready to be served

because every look i give is a serve

no matter the flavor

pattern

color

or texture

anything including me is an adventure

i’m like orange because i give out excitement

being around me is more than enticing

it’s like being strucked by lighting

and then comforted by a cloud

but then lighting again if you acting like a clown

trying to hold me down and i just wanna elevate

i give off a light so bright it makes people

hesitate before they come my way

like a traffic cone

but like the sun i’m back brightening up your day

and it’s all yellow

my aura

the feeling i omit so warm and mellow

the lemons life gave us to make lemonade

a different aid for the sweats on a hot summer day

though i can’t relate because i made a lemon garden

so when life comes with its lemons

i hand them back

because with or without a handout

i’m still winning

cleaner than the linen that lives in my air

cleaner than the shine bouncing off my

4c hair

the heir

of making green

the money machine

grinding n leaping

modern day princess tiana !

greener than the trees aiding me in breathing

greener than the plants i surround myself

in to welcome life outside of mine within

green, is the only thing i’ll chase

and i mean literally

i’m willing to hit every last base if it

guarantees my success

because i aim for the stars and nothing less

and i stand on that as i poke out my chest

“ i know i am meant to be.

a successful and enduring black woman “

bc me and my sisters are cut from a different bread

it’s not all in our heads

but sometimes we can get stuck up there

not our fingers in our hair

but ourselves in our head

for when we’re feeling blue

clueless about what to do

stressing about the negatives

stressing about the narratives

they made out for you

good sis

you’re too good to be treated like this

i be feeling blue

because i have a lot of shit to do

and don’t know how much time

i have to accomplish it

my anxiety holds be back from stomping shit

the confusion on wanting to be mad or sad

should i keep it to myself or share with a friend

should i let anyone in ?

sometimes when i cry i use the tears that are left as moisturizer, because ultimately

i feel like i’m the only person who can aid me comfort.

that can make me feel whole again

indigo.

the places i envision to go

the long drives along the coast

enjoying the road to my finish line

only in time

will we know

the places i’ll go

violet, the interior of the orchid, my zodiacs

flower

the power it gives

standing tall on its own

like all i ever done

with no handout

no easy road

no shortcut

just blood sweat and tears.

i embraced all my fears and come to accept

i am who i am.

society’s worst triple threat

gay, African-American, and woman.

i will never set my pride aside for no being

who doesn’t agree with the way i’m living

from my uniqueness

all the way to my bleakness

and not giving courage to my weaknesses

it’s my life and my road

so let me drive it.