I Know I'm Meant for Motherhood

Uncertainty has seeped in my bones

on many a mighty moment.

When my outward actions fail

to quell the inner unease,

the sweeping reaction of needing to move past beginner jitters

has helped me step forward.

I cannot decide until I try it.

I cannot know how I feel until I give it a fair shake.

I cannot judge the future until I get there.

Doing nothing does not solve the enigma

of not knowing what to do.

I've chosen carefully and stepped with caution.

I've reflected deeply and doubted voraciously,

butting up against

I don't knows

around every corner.

Because of this, when I am sure,

I am abundantly so.

And the one entity for which I am certain I am meant

is motherhood.

Strange how the topic never arises

in conversation around the dinner table

because, as was intoned in my upbringing,

I can be anything I want to be.

I can do anything I want to do.

Yet the only meaningful venture imparted on my soul,

is bringing more life into the world.

The only thing for which I long

is to hold my child in my arms,

cradled against my chest.

The only future I see

is one surrounded by more family.

It is written in my genes,

it radiates from my soul,

it lives in my bones,

daring doubt to seep in.

Sometimes, there is no explanation.

Sometimes, you just know.

And I know,

I'm meant for motherhood.