I Just Want To Be All Right

Discontent, a come down

Abstinent, merely lonesome

Resonant? Maybe one day

Resolute? If only

.

Oh, I wish upon a little star

A sun

A moon

A full eclipse in tow

.

My mouth may form a bow

But my sad eyes droop in frown

No crown, no clown,

No high horse, no look in vain,

Just veins of blood, red not blue

Pulsing slowly for me, not you

.

Pulsing because it must not because I tell it so

If it were up to me, it may not flow

Lack of interest and laziness the only thing I owe

.

What becometh of me, will I ever tell?

When will the Worry and Anxious quell?

At what age is everything right?

I’m sure it’s never right and if not, what’s the point?

I’m sure there is one, but one

I do not find in-kind, is this life a lie?

.

Oh, to be a spy!

Seems dangerous, but maybe I’d like to die

Only ungrateful assholes thus

Proclaim or bitches with chemical imbalances say

I think I’m neither but I’ll continue to gulp this pity chalice

Much like Alice, I fall and tumble, not on Tinder, Twitter or Bumble

I always fumble and collapse

Too drained to relapse, yet

I do again and again,

Relapse, impasse, relapse, collapse

.

Tired, drowned, unwilling to be around

Anyone, anything,

Lonely, alone, lonesome, behold

No rings, no things, nothing

.

Eyes of drunken fury,

Reek of a brewery,

The yeast squeezes and pores

Out my pimpled, mosquito ridden pores

No drugs, but still regrets

Too anxious to stand, too anxious to sit

No pills to spit; no marijuana lit

.

Just me and my mind

Becoming untwined,

Let the drugs and booze

Leak out to clean this

Spout but holy fuck

This comedown, I could do without

.

Does the moon pull me?

Rule me?

Elude me? Ensure me?

If not the moon, who tugs my strings that I try to pull?

No headspace for this headcase

As the moon follows its path,

I’m at an impasse

Lady moon, miss moon, moon goddess, please

Listen and tell me softly that everything will be alight

In darkness and in light

I’m running out of energy to fight

I just want to be all right

I just want to be all right