I Have A List

I Have a List (And You’re On It)” — Scorned Woman Version

Verse 1

When I finally leave this world and drift into the night,

Don’t expect me to be peaceful or go floatin’ toward the light.

No, I’ll be a sassy little spirit with unfinished business,

’Cause I fully intend to haunt people

When I die —

And trust me, honey, you made the list.

Chorus

Oh, I fully intend to haunt people when I die,

And I have a list — don’t bother asking why.

I’ll rattle all your cupboards, hide your socks and favorite mug,

Slide your phone across the counter just to give your nerves a tug.

So if you hear a wicked laugh drifting through the mist…

Relax — it’s only me

Checking names off my list.

Verse 2

I’ll rearrange your pillows, move your keys from room to room,

Turn your TV on at midnight just to play my favorite tune.

I’ll whisper, “Should’ve treated me better,” right behind your ear,

A harmless little haunting

Just to make my message clear.

Chorus

Oh, I fully intend to haunt people when I die,

And I have a list — don’t bother asking why.

I’ll rattle all your cupboards, hide your socks and favorite mug,

Slide your phone across the counter just to give your nerves a tug.

So if you hear a wicked laugh drifting through the mist…

Relax — it’s only me

Checking names off my list.

Bridge

Don’t worry, I’ll be classy — no terror, doom, or dread,

Just a little ghostly sass to dance around your bed.

I’ll be the kind of phantom who leaves lipstick on your glass,

A supernatural reminder

Of the woman you let pass.

Final Chorus

Oh, I fully intend to haunt people when I die,

And I have a list — and no, I won’t deny.

I’ll tap a little rhythm on your window late at night,

Just to let you know I’m thriving and the afterlife’s alright.

So if you feel a breeze that smells like perfume and a twist…

Smile — it’s only me

Checking names off my list.