I Forgive You or It’s Hard to Love You

…because you are selfish. You think like the wind, fast and with moments of youth, but like the wind, I cannot grasp your thoughts. I try, I want to, but they slip through open fingers just as fluidly as through clenched. I had one of them once, grabbed it like a thin ribbon untethered from the beauty it once held. But you can’t keep someone else's thoughts. They have places to be, after all. My mind exists because of you. I am here because of you. You gave me much, took little, but prevented more. More thoughts I could have tried to hold. More past so I could have built a ladder to escape pain. But not all pain, mind you. I need some pain. Pain teaches and scars remember. And you did that too. You shaped all the sides of me and carved the first scar. That scar became a road. It was deep and forever, but it no longer hurts. It tells me where to go by showing me where I’ve been. Thank you for my scars.