I folded your laundry

I folded your clothes for the last time yesterday. It was just a couple hoodies that had been left out, but it was the last time I’ll do it. As I folded them, and put them in a box with the rest of your belongings, I cried. I cried a river the size of the sea, and I cried again just remembering the emotions.

I heard that song again today. The song I would send you because it always made me think of you and me. The one talking about never wanting anybody but you. I turned it up and screamed the lyrics as loud as I could while tears streamed down my face while I drove home. You would think a divorce would have prepared me for the pain of a break up of a three month relationship; but it didn’t.

I’ll see you in my home for the last time tomorrow. You’ll tell my dogs goodbye after treating them like your own kids for the last three months. They won’t understand that this is a forever kind of goodbye, but I’m crying just thinking about the pain and confusion they’re going to experience. You’ll then turn to me to tell me goodbye, and I know I’m going to be bawling like a baby. Because we weren’t supposed to say goodbye. We were supposed to be that once in a lifetime, fairytale kind of love. We were supposed to get married and stay together forever. And perhaps that’s a lot to expect out of a three month relationship, but this relationship was different than any other I’ve ever had and my heart aches just at the sight of your name without those emojis next to it in my phone.

The coming weeks will be hard and awkward as we try to check on each other, but also learn our new limits as exes. I’ll cry more and more tears; so many that I could have my own ocean now. I truly thought this was what forever felt like. I truly thought that I’d finally found security, love, my best friend and my soulmate all wrapped up into one. But I was wrong. I found a love that was too young and immature to survive the intense tests and challenges it had to face. I found a love that could last a lifetime, but was cut far too short. I found a love that I’ll remember from now until the end of time. But I also found a love that will haunt me until the right love comes along.