I don’t want to not anymore

I don’t want to not anymore.

I’ve spent too many years not doing, not going, not eating, not living......,fully. Not even being able to be in the moment.

I don’t want to not anymore.

I don’t think I ever did.

But life encroaches. Responsibilities, like chains on our ankles, weigh heavily. Pushing us as would the tide.

I don’t want to not anymore.

Before it’s too late.

Already, the lists of cannot loom in front of my eyes. At least should not.

Though I never was one to shy away from a challenge.

I just don’t want to not anymore.

While I still can.