I'd Really Rather Not

I'd Really Rather Not

I wear this collar as a symbol

For myself

Of the ways in which

I am fundamentally alone

And likely will be for a very long time

For the control I have

And wish I didn't

For the strength and independence

I wish I didn't need

For this sense of ownership

And tenacity

And vulnerability

And power

That I keep hoping

To put at the end of a leash

In someone else's hand

And the courage it takes

To be that for myself

When no one else is interested