I Cried

I refused to look at him

Not once

Because then I would melt

And look weak

I refused to look

Not once

Until the very end

When his back was turned

I looked all along his body

I looked at the familiar posture I've come to love so much

I looked along his neck

His beautiful carved nose

I stared

I stared like I'd never seen him

Or anything so beautiful in my life

I felt that great flood of love

But as quickly and great as it came

It was replaced with a feeling of vacancy

Like I lost something precious

So I looked away

I went home

Checked my phone for messages

None

I cried

I ate dinner

Did my piano lessons

Went to bed

And cried

I calmed myself

I felt numb

His sweet voice was suddenly in my head again

I cried.