I am who you say I am

I wish I could say I finally let go.

I wish I could say you’re words don’t put a dent in my soul

Here I am, sitting here.

Listening to you speak of me.

I wish I had my own identity.

I need to stand firm in who I am.

But what if I don’t know who that is.

What if I’m just pieces of who you say I am.

Then what do I have to offer the world?

What if I’m just a fragment of your imagination.

What about me? Who do I say I am.

I wish I could say I knew exactly who I was.

My identity crushed every single season of my life.

Changing, becoming, and leading me into a path of destruction.

Destructive I’ve become.

I’ve let you say who you think I am.

I’ve lived a life of who you want me to be.

Now it’s time for me to see.

Maybe I’m everything I ever hoped I’d be.

I just don’t know how to see myself.

I can see others so perfectly.

But me, why can’t I see who I want to be.

Perhaps, I’m more than one thing.

Maybe just maybe I can see myself as one thing because I’m everything.

Why is it so wrong to think of me as someone who sees intentionally?

You say I’m too this or too that

But, why do I suddenly feel like I keep giving everything only to receive nothing

I’m tired of it

I refuse to give myself to you now

I will give myself to me

No matter what I do I try to be everything you ask for me

It’s never enough for you

So, again I give myself to me

Why is it so hard for you to appreciate me

You say you love me but your words and actions say differently

I’m tired of the games

Show me I don’t have to be this way and I’ll give you my everything

I don’t think it’ll happen

So here’s my goodbye to the old giving me

And hello to the me that deserves my everything

I told you I would find my way

Isn’t that what most people do anyways

Why do I have to listen to everything you say

Truth is, I don’t have too

I need to be me

And if you don’t appreciate me

I say good bye to you

Because I’ve tried everything

I need a glimpse of me

To feel less lost and more found

How do I get there?

I look at my mom square in the face the one who helped create me

She says her soul is full of warmth when she prays to the creation of everything

So, that’s what I do to find me

When I see it in her I want so badly to get there

But then I realize it’s a journey to find me

Think of all the good things you’ve done says my soul

That’s who you are

It’s not the bad things that make up who you are

But the good things that you’ve tried and tried again

Do not focus on your mistakes

That’s where you will lose yourself

Focus on giving good things

Everyday take a step in the right direction

You will never because love will lead the way

God will lead the way

When you continuously pour your heart out it will be seen

It will be championed

It will not only be seen by the good creator

But also by those who are around you

Because you are gods everything