I am nothing

Smaller than an ant /Lesser than a blade of grass

Plagued by notions of grandeur, courtesy of undisclosed illness /that dupe those closest into believing I'm

anything

my story is usual/a tapestry hung out to dry/and beaten

Vibrant color fading

Oh yes, I am the nothing to their sometimes

I am almost on time/in a world where timeliness is next to godliness

and god is this: useless, dried up, and dead

Impotent for change/striving for same.

I am…

frozen

indecisive

and good.

how I wish I could be bad…

Would you teach me how to be bad?

To take my hidden strength/because this insignificant ant can raise three times their weight/and that blade of grass, she can catch fire for the movement and burn it all to ashes.

I am terrified.

Because I cannot be anything but good.

All mistakes are forgiven/if we’re only being good.

Good, goooood. Guh-uh-uh-oo-d.

good Goddess… who would what I’d kill in me to be bad.