I Am Lost Without You//Would It Really Be So Bad

I am lost without you

I was lost with you but I knew I had something

A light in the woods

A hole in my pocket

You dressed my wounds when I came home from fighting and plucked needles from my skin like feathers

No

Our lives were not such volatile things then

You massaged my back and proofread my work

Now I don't know where I am and I have to know that you feel the same

I have to

//

Would it really be so bad

To be dragged underneath and churned about endlessly,

Like a bad idea

To be chewed into grit by steel teeth until there's nothing soft left of me

To be a skid mark on a street I'd walked down only the day before

Would it really be so bad

Or I could throw myself overboard and be groped by hands that dare me into silence, trick me into opening myself, then, taking each masticated piece of me deeper into an endless ocean of bountiful horrors

My sinue would stretch great distances, held together, connected by the strength of my grief.

The stress this body has endured would be hazardous to wildlife, a natural disaster of an impossible scale