I Am Lonely

I Am Lonely

by Rosa Younan

Another text from an old friend,

Here I am. Always willing to give my heart and love to lend,


So how am I lonely?



Another great night with family and food, 


I should feel like I’m in a good mood,


But I’m lonely.



I don’t really get a lot of sleep,


but ask me how I am and I won’t say a peep.


Why?


I’m lonely.



I’ll be the first to offer my company because it’s never really asked,


I’m a laugh with tears held inside a huge mask.


And I am lonely.



I’m the joker who cries in the shower,


The one who always will try and point out that big yellow flower,


So how am I lonely?



My friends say I’m a dream,


They say, “You remind of us of being on a team.”


Where everyone supports each other,


Listens like a sister, hugs like a brother.

Guess what though?


I am lonely.



I won’t come on out and say it,


I’ll sound like a blubbering twit.


Ungrateful, asking too much,


Always being the first to hug and craving a loving touch.


And you guessed it,


I’m lonely.



After laughing with loved ones, I’ll sit all alone,


And wonder if anyone really likes me. Those thoughts cut me to the bone.


And I send a text, just to check,


I’ll say something like, “Had a great time with you guys!”


Because, what the heck!


I’m lonely.



It might seem like it’s all negative and blue,
 but that simply isn’t true.


Because I am lonely I…



Am the first to notice when my friend is really sad,


I’ll send someone a text to check in,

Remind them that they’re loved and I’m glad.

I can be there for them because I know how it feels,


To run thoughts around your head like a set of bicycle wheels.


Because I am lonely I…



Will never let someone I love feel like they’re all alone,


Leave a voicemail with them and say, “I love you,” in a gentle tone.


Listen to my student that feels stressed and he’s only eight,


because it’s hard to talk about feelings with adults that are busy and late.


Why?



Because I need to be honest as I sit here and rhyme, 


We all feel lonely from time to time.


It hurts and it stings,

As I sit alone in my room, I too am ready to scream.


Why will no one love me? Or stick around long enough to try?


What I’m really asking is, “What’s wrong with me?” As I lay down and cry.



We all really feel this way,


but we just won’t always come out and say,


“I need a hug,” or “I’m not doing so good.”


Yet maybe we should.



Maybe others will feel more at ease,


if I share this short piece with them, be honest and don’t tease.


Go open and up and tell someone how you’re feeling,


it can make you feel lighter and get your heart to start singing.



Because we all sing the same song,


just with a different tune.


Same words pour out as we whisper to the moon.


I am lonely.



If we’re alone, aren’t we all together in that?


It’s at least a start, to getting it all out on the mat.


I am lonely. 


It sucks and it feels like it stretches on for such a length.

It’s my biggest struggle but...

It’s also my biggest strength!