I am in a loop

Inferior, inferior, inferior

I am perfect, perfect, perfect

Always in a black and white state

Either wrong or right

Push and pull

Give my all or nothing at all

Procrastination to pressure

It is a dangerous cycle

.

I balance so much

Little reward

Constant emotions of sadness

To golden inspiration

And back to sorrows

.

Perhaps I am impatient

But it is not my fault

Or maybe it is

I cannot decide for myself

Hand held as a child

Teenage years held back

Adult years a rush of confusion

.

I am not happy with myself

But within an hour

I just keep pushing anyways