Hunter Biden For President

From his mother’s womb

One February afternoon

And straight to the Situation Room

Hunter Biden, I presume.

A father in the Oval Office

A senator so smooth,

but not so flawless,

He stuttered

and still destroyed

the Republican caucus.

His son though

was rather lawless

enough to make him nauseous;

because the painful truth

was a son who was groomed

on the rust of his crack spoon.

And soon,

Hunter made history

Because it was no mystery

Whose crackpipe hung

so gallantly

atop the White House

Christmas tree.

And who has the balls

To roam the West Wing halls

And drop a bag of blow

On that bust of Ol’ Frank Delano?

It wasn't his brother Beau.

Hunter, forget that rehab residence

You've set a precedent

why not be president?

The wonders you could do

From that trap house

on Pennsylvania Avenue

Maybe even replace Congress

with a petting zoo!

For veep, Jay Z

Willie Nelson, drug policy

Keith Richards

head of social security

(for all eternity)

Charlie Sheen at

the Treasury

and

Lindsey Lohan

your expert

on foreign policy.

Maybe, destroy

all of North Korea

In a fit of paranoia

You get high

in polite society

just like that mayor

Marion Barry.

America need not apologies

but maybe hide that toxicology

In you we trust

The future of our democracy

who cares about drug busts.

But please keep

your stem in your pocket

don't let it fall on the carpet

During the State of the Union

Try not to piss on

the constitution.

Crackheads everywhere

take some pride

In our man on the inside

He’s from our tribe

sure he'll take a bribe

his brain is totally fried.