“Humor of the Slightly Eccentric.” 😄📚

If this book were a poem, it would probably be shelved under “Humor of the Slightly Eccentric.”

But...I am a poem. Whatever do you mean unnecessary line.

Scribbling and writing, once the delightful strokes of ink and imagination, where words jostled for dominance across the pages, occasionally tripping over their own shoelaces...have all gone for an unauthorized vacation.

How we are missing them, in this our whimsical literary challenge journeys. 📝

Once the Quirks of fingers flailing, now comes the stubborn cursor waltz.

Ink once spilled like a caffeinated octopus, flailing wildly - tentacles wrapping around metaphors, tickling similes...now cedes to-------

The cursor blinks, mocking my indecision.

“Write!” Cursor demands, tapping its tiny foot.

I type, {delete}, type again--a tumbleweed of uncertainty.

Finally, a sentence emerges: “Once upon a time…”

The cursor nods approvingly. Victory!

The Alliteration Jamboree arrives waving champagne -

Words gather backstage, adjusting their bowties.

“Tonight,” says ‘Sibilant Sam,’ “we sashay!”

“Spectacular!” exclaims ‘Pun-tastic Polly.’

As consonants collide in a cacophony of cleverness.

The Rhyme Rebellion conspire like mischievous twins.

“Let’s rhyme ‘orange’!” suggests one.

The other scoffs, “That’s like juggling jellyfish!”

They settle for “red” and high-five.

The Metaphor Marathon sprints across the page, breathless.

“Life is a sandwich,” declares one.

“Because no matter which way you flip it, the bread always comes first.”

The crowd nods sagely, understanding.

The Grammar Goblins intervene,

Commas sneak in, uninvited party crashers.

“We’re here to confuse!” they giggle.

Semicolons, the introverts, huddle in corners.

“We connect independent clauses,” they whisper.

Meanwhile, exclamation marks shout, “Surprise!”

Plot Twist Tango appears, drunk and jaded

Characters pirouette through unexpected doorways.

“I was a mild-mannered librarian,” says Agatha.

“Until I discovered secret interpretive dance!”

The plot nods appreciatively, then twirls offstage.

The Simile Samba

Similes shimmy like sequined showgirls.

“Her eyes sparkled like disco balls,” I write.

The editor frowns. “Too cliché.”

I revise: “Her eyes sparkled like unicorn tears.”

The editor raises an eyebrow. “Better.”

The Finalé: Full Stop Fandango

The story crescendos, reaching its climax.

The full stop steps forward, top hat tilted.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” it announces,

“The end.” Applause erupts.

The ellipsis winks. “Or does it…?”

And there you have it - a poetic ode to the quirks, chaos, and clandestine cabals of writing. May your own literary escapades be equally entertaining! ✍️

😄📚

Inspired by countless late-night writing sessions and caffeinated madness...No octopuses were harmed in the making of this poem. “Life is a sandwich” is a metaphorical gem attributed to Eddie Izzard, the comedic genius. The ellipsis is the literary equivalent of a raised eyebrow. Disclaimer: No actual unicorns were involved in the creation of this simile. The editor’s frown is a universal truth for writers everywhere.The full stop, ever the showstopper, takes its final bow. Bravo! The ellipsis, always the enigma, leaves us wondering… 🤔

Feel free to join the whimsical parade and add your own voice to writer's exhaustion.