How to pick the perfect avocado

How to pick the perfect avocado -

First, pay attention to where you are versus where avocados grow,

And give thanks to the MANY hands who make this quest possible.

Thank you hands!

Now, picking the perfect avocado requires intuition, or charts?

Or advice from that super hot guy

Checking out that yoga body

Walking by the pomegranates -

Oh whatever,

Never mind -

You got this.

Go stand by the displays and notice the labels,

And find the organic ones,

No, really - don’t roll your eyes,

Unless you really can’t afford them,

Or the store you’re in is just that lame -

Organic tastes way better.

Now, hold your hand 6-8 inches above the bin

Letting your energy feel for perfection.

Hover, hover, and make sure you are breathing

In and out,

Make a little noise on the out breath, too -

It helps find the avocado that wants to come to you.

What you seek seeks you -

Trust in the flow,

You know -

And exhale all of your expectations.

Now, look at the colors.

If you might see that color on a crocodile,

Keep moving.

The perfect avocados are the shade of black

You get from an old ink jet printer

That mixes all the colors, simulating black,

Without black ink -

But stop, wait, no!

You can’t buy it when it’s that color now!

Unless you’ve got a spoon and you can’t

Wait to dig in -

If it’s black now, you’re already in the window when it’s perfect,

And you don’t know when that window began,

And it’s so easy to bruise in that state -

Better get one that’s perfect for when you want it.

Find a darkish avocado that feels firm enough it won’t bruise,

But soft enough it gives just a bit when you caress it.

Just a bit - you don’t want it all soft,

It’ll be all brown inside.

You’re looking for the perfect avocado,

And it will only be perfect for approximately 6.4 hours -

And that should be sometime tomorrow afternoon,

Unless you happen to be cuddling with a Christopher

In a small A-Frame,

Before the fires -

Then they will be ready today,

And the window is now,

So grab a spoon and dig in.