HOW PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE

HOW PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE

Love is often depicted as heartwarming, heart-wrenching, and at times, heartbreaking. However, what role does the brain play in this complex emotion? It turns out, the brain is the orchestrator of the entire journey from the initial spark to the final tear, involving an intricate interplay of neurochemicals and brain systems.

As one embarks on the journey of falling for someone, daydreams about them become a constant, and the desire to spend more time together intensifies. Psychologists refer to this initial stage of love as infatuation or passionate love. It creates a nearly intoxicating experience, and from a neurological standpoint, this is not far from reality. Individuals in the throes of infatuation exhibit heightened activation in the ventral tegmental area (VTA).

The VTA serves as the brain's reward-processing and motivation center, firing up during activities such as indulging in a sweet treat or satisfying thirst. This activation results in the release of dopamine, the "feel good" neurotransmitter, teaching the brain to seek repeated engagement in anticipation of the initial reward. The increased activity in the VTA not only contributes to the euphoria of love but also pulls individuals closer to their newfound partners. During this stage, imperfections in the seemingly flawless partner may be overlooked, thanks to love's impact on higher cortical brain regions. Newly infatuated individuals may display decreased activity in the brain's cognitive center, the prefrontal cortex, which typically engages in critical thought and judgment.

While the initial stage of love is marked by intense emotions and heightened brain activity, it usually lasts only a few months, paving the way for a more enduring form of love known as attachment or compassionate love.

As the relationship matures, a sense of relaxation and commitment emerges, largely influenced by two hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin. These pair-bonding hormones signal trust, social support, and attachment, mirroring their roles in bonding families and friendships. Oxytocin, in particular, inhibits the release of stress hormones, contributing to the calming effect of spending time with a loved one. As the initial suspension of judgment in early love fades, a deeper understanding and connection often replace it.

When a relationship ends, the pain of heartbreak can be attributed to the brain. The distress activates the insular cortex, responsible for processing both physical and social pain. The longing for a lost partner, reminiscent of the initial stages of the relationship, is accompanied by increased activity in the VTA, the motivation and reward center. This emotional turmoil triggers the body's stress axis, leading to feelings of restlessness and unease.

Over time, higher cortical regions governing reasoning and impulse control can mitigate the distress and cravings associated with heartbreak. Engaging in activities like exercise, spending time with friends, or enjoying favorite music can alleviate the stress response and stimulate the release of dopamine. With time and support, most individuals can heal and glean valuable lessons from even the most profound heartbreaks.