How I'm Getting Over You

i don’t miss you

i don’t even like you

but I feel the need to know the air around you

understand the space you’ve been in

no matter how much you’ve ruined me

i feel the need to touch the places your skin has been

and yet i find myself distancing

seeing differences that breed superiority

i see you as less than me

even though i know i shouldn’t

and i’m tired

and i grow weary of the storms and rainfalls that come with this

this aching and longing for things once known

but i promise you that i don’t miss you

i swear to you I can’t feel it.

and yet within my numbest state

there’s heat that rises

there’s a smoke baiting a fire

that draws me back to every inch you’ve touched

the ground your feet have walked

and the wind you breathed

when you truly believed

that somehow you mattered to me