How I am Painted

Two winter seasons back,

Christmas on the loom,

I worked at Starbucks

I wore a red apron and someone said

Red suited me

I look at my skin, medium warm

Yellow undertones, the swath of red

Fabric resting against my arm.

My father claims red roses are for mature women,

Funny enough, my co-worker says

I’m mature for my age.

Chemistry homework in front of me, I do a

Buzzfeed quiz.

Boom, my aura color is Red

Passionate, energetic, fierce.

When I was twelve, I made an oil pastel drawing,

My art teacher says do contrasting colors

I chose Orange and Blue.

How complementary they were to each other

Yet still so different

They say art imitates life and yes, this drawing,

A parallel reminder of my two sides

Orange, for how bold and spontaneous I am

Blue, for how sensitive and emotional I can be.

Coldplay wrote a song called “Yellow”

A director named John M. Chu

Asked for permission to use in his film

A film whose cast, all of Asian descent,

A rarity in a land called Hollywood

Being called “yellow” was once a

Blow, to someone with a face like mine,

Mr. Chu’s, so many whose heritage lays under AAPI.

Yet the song itself made the sound

Of “yellow menace”

The sight of yellowface and the shame

Dissolve

To realize how beautiful and resilient

It is to be Yellow.

I think of a photo I took during the early days

Of Spring, when she crept in

The branches and background mainly

Dead and dull and grey and brown

The only thing that stood out

Were the tiny buds of leaves

All Green and young and vibrant

I think of how I stuck out like that,

The only difference

Was that their moment was natural and appreciated

Mines was not.

But yet, I still stood out, would not go back

Just like those born Green buds.

My bedroom wall is of a purple shade, lilac.

How it soothed my introverted tendencies

While others were out partying

On Mother’s Day, my grandma

Gave me a necklace

A purple diamond in the shape of a heart

Some associate love with red and pink,

But for me now, it’s purple.

A reminder of the emotional security

And compassion she gave me since

I was born.

Each individual color,

I am Red, Orange, Yellow,

Green, Blue, and Purple.

A reminder, a metaphor,

A moment, a memory

And together,

A painter swirled them all,

Put it all on the canvas,

they have just painted me.