House of Memories

This house, in which I reside, holds many secrets way deep down inside.

Once a house of happiness, our first one for our kids.

This home was supposed to be our place to one day retire and maybe play with future grandkids.

It was thought that this house would give us so much joy and freedom coming from the many years of apartment dwellings to now having our own private space to exist without any interruptions from others.

We had the freedom to have as many pets as we liked, without any extra fees.

We finally had our very own backyard to relax, play, or just be.

But this house wasn't easy and it sure wasn't how we had planned.

When the economy went into the toilet, we definitely had a fight on our hands.

Many tears, worries and anxieties went in to keeping this house from sinking us...but unfortunately, that is exactly how it ended up.

Together, we resided here eleven years...and today, I reside here...alone.

If these walls could talk, they'd put us all to shame.

All the arguments, struggles of money, it made us all behave very poorly and not only one person was to blame.

My heart was in it for the long haul, and never had intentions of giving up. But you did the unthinkable and the unexpected and tapped out just months after my medical downfall. Brokenhearted! Angry!! Bitter!!! And Sad, wasn't even strong enough of a word.

The loneliness you left me with refuses to let me be in peace.

I continue asking myself, Why for this heartless man, do you still grieve? Feelings of almost three decades together, just don't vanish so easily.

So, here I write this, still riddled with anxieties; only one week before our marriage becomes a memory...and I am left here with many repairs both physical and emotional, and I am lost and unsure of my future.

I don't know how much longer I can continue residing here, as if we never existed; and our children have all grown up.

I don't want to make any hasty decisions of leaving this home, but this House of Memories is killing me.