Hospital Hallways

My greatest fear is losing my mind

After the month spent in the mental health unit when I was thirteen

A hospital

Supposedly a place of healing and help

With all my freedom taken it felt more like jail

No pop cans, glass bottles, no scissors, no razors, no use of kitchen knives

It didn't stop there at the obvious dangers

No hoodie strings, no shoes with laces or you would have restricted access to laced shoes

No hugs, no talking about your personal life troubles with other patients

You could not go outside to the 20 foot fenced off yard without permission and supervision

No electronic devices

The windows did not open and the curtains had velcro rather than hooks

Everything I did and said was being observed and judged

I didn't want to eat the disgusting hospital food, so they thought I had an eating disorder

In my nightmares I'm wandering the hallways of a mental hospital looking for a way out

I'm panic stricken there is no way to escape

You must maintain composure so they think you're ready to leave

A place of help and healing imprisoned me

Isolated from my friends and family

Felt more like a punishment than treatment

In my nightmares I'm a prisoner