Horoscopes

Aries (March 21 - April 19): Today is a good day to bake 30 dozen cookies. There doesn’t need to be a reason. Why do you need a reason? Stop asking questions.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Don’t go into your basement for a while. Nothing and no one is down there. Don’t worry about it. THE STARS SAY DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21): Taurus has a fantastic finished basement. It’s basically an apartment. Why don’t you stay there for a while? Taurus won’t mind; I promise.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22): You look like you need a cookie. Ask Aries for one… or maybe a couple of dozen. Whatever it takes, get that cookie.

Leo (July 23 - August 22): You need a vacation. Treat yourself every once in a while; you deserve it.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Did you hear that? It’s probably nothing, but maybe don’t look under your child’s bed tonight.

Libra (September 23 - October 22): You seem like the kind of person who likes pulling pranks. Hide under your bed and make some thumping noises. Your grown up(s) will love it.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): You look great today. Green is definitely your color. You need -- and I do mean NEED -- to wear it more often.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): The person you are looking for is wearing something green.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): You remembered everything when you left the house, right? RIGHT?

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): You will be getting some good news today. Or maybe it's bad news? I don't know for sure, but keep your phone with you regardless. You never know.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): You'll be giving news today. You know what it is and who it's for. There's nothing else the stars told us.