His heartbreak

I can't believe it, the pain not for me, but can see its real

Being so scared and not knowing what to say or do for once

Hearing it all go off like crowd bawl but instead just to parents on the phone

Only difference is the parents was my partner and his ex

Being close to his children, hearing him say I neglect them and hearing he might be made to stop seeing them

was a shocker to hear that

didn't make me shocked when he got angry and made such a mess

wasn't a shocker when he yelled, slammed the doors and went off upstairs for a cigarette

But when I went up the shock was to see him on the floor

to see him shaking, red and all flustered with tears in his eyes,

to see his arm and he's cut himself a few times and the blood

felt the pain in him and hit me like a gunshot

I felt sick, I didn't know what to do and say but to stand there glaring feeling anxiety

telling myself to breathe, to be brave because he needs me

I then out of nowhere grabbed him and hugged him and said I'm here

That was all I could do and say for now

I was rubbing his back

had my hand on his body

was looking at him with that soppy face

he told me I came in time, otherwise, he would have taken tablets

My heart was thumping, I felt his heart thumping to

I felt so sorry for him and just want to take the pain away

He's a good dad,He does his best, I help him a lot

being caught in the middle of it is difficult

all these messages between me and her was difficult

but I don't want to see him hurt anymore or he hurt himself

it scares to know and see what he's done to himself

hope I'm helping by doing this, sticking up and sticking by him

but I love him so much I can't lose him or his kids

I know we will get through, I know he will get through because I will do my best

then it will be better .