Hesitant Men (A dark tale of the sea)

Those who aren’t sure

Whether to pursue the woman,

Forever stuck in indecision

Until that ship has sailed...

Oh well, there are many others

And the port is overcrowded;

On each board they’re welcome.

Sweet deal! Until

One vessel traps your heart

And leaves with it.

You may be dismayed

And say the captain is a pirate —

How dare she leave with something

That doesn’t belong to her?

Well, maybe it does.

In Kabbalistic teachings

It’s revealed that some parts of us

Were meant for others,

And we have no control

When we meet up with destiny.

Reason all you want

But the heart has its own reason.

And most likely, for the captain

That heart of yours is a dangerous cargo.

When we meet with missing parts of Self

It’s like facing death,

Heading full-throttle into a Maelstrom...

Would be safer back at the port, ya’ know?

But this is not what ships are for,

And this is what I’m beginning to learn.

Let me introduce this gal —

The Fearful Woman.

Pitted against your indecisiveness,

Her fear stills the waters —

But not in a placid way:

They freeze. And the crust of ice

Is burying her ship alive, destroying it.

Ice is like cancer... and before you know it

Arctic desert is everywhere —

No life... no sunshine of your love.

Whose fault is this? Who stumbled first?

Same old ‘chicken and egg’ argument,

Water under the bridge.

Let it flow.

Her job is accepting,

Your job is pursuing.

Don’t mix it up... don’t pretend

You have no idea.

It’s up to you to hand that heart to her,

Smoldering still, soft glow of ambers —

Only one more wasted love away

From turning into ashes.

It needs fresh air of risk and adventure

To rekindle and burn brightly —

A beacon it was meant to be.

It’s up to her to not throw your heart

Overboard. as a ballast

When the waters get choppy —

Her own emotions unfrozen,

Shock and pain from the past

Brought back into focus.

That heart of yours

May be with her

But it won’t do any good

Until you make the decision

To give it freely

To the woman who stole it.

A Zen koan, I know...

But back there in town by the sea

You’ll keep going in circles,

Having nothing to give

And other captains will sense it.

Lulled by your apparent security,

You won’t even notice

Until every ship has sailed,

And you’re all alone

With gaping hole of indecision

Where your heart used to be.

In the meantime, a siren is lost at sea,

Battered by the storm

Her own element has thrown at her:

A gift rejected or neglected is a curse.

It’s dark and lonely...

Your heart her vessel carries

Is heavy and inert.

You, only you have the command

Over its powers

To be the light and warmth.

Otherwise, disowned,

It only burns when touched

And soon the ship will sink,

Unless she toughens up

To toss the burden.

She was on sinking ships before,

Her SOS unanswered,

Or much worse — ridiculed.

Her voyages in search of you

All ruined by bad luck

Of your uncertainty:

She’s too intimidating,

She’s taking on too much,

By picking up the slack

To do your job...

No more.

Out there is the quiet spot —

Eye of the storm, place of reflection.

She has nothing more to fear.

That heart of yours is glowing still...

It’s carefully released,

With blessings.

Most precious thing, she doesn’t want it

Unless you’re here to give it

And ask her humbly to hold on to it,

Since only with her touch

It lightens up.

Yet will it ever happen?

All that might have been

Is washed away:

Another dream, another shipwreck.

The Mermaid will survive

And sing another tale

To praise the hope to feel alive

That came from you...

She’ll weave more tears

Into her necklace —

The shining pearls,

Imagination’s afterglow.

If only he was sure...

Let it flow.

February 12, 2021.