I’ll be here when you want me
like the sound inside a shell.
And when you’re angry
smash me.
Stamp down the fragments
To dust.
smaller
f i n e r.
But remember
lightning
has only one
strong strike
a last life in a video game
(the final bullet
in a magazine).
A baseball bat,
infinite
in strikes
wouldn’t you prefer?
Expel your anger
satisfyingly.
Until it cracks
thunder
following the strike
the door slamming in your face
The me
no longer here for you.
***
I wrote this probably three years ago, maybe four. I don’t remember the fight I wrote it in response to… Or perhaps I was just in a mood apart from any contention. I tried to rewrite it and rework it recently; I just couldn’t get past what I’d already put on the page. It seems complete. Though not really representative of my current poetic style, I like it.
Hope you do too.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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Comments (13)
Mackenzie, I love the raw emotion and authenticity in this poem! It's jarring and yet still so enticing! I'm really struggling to find words to express what this has stirred in me but I love it! Also, fair warning... I had a fairly extensive reading list of work with your name on it so I'm about to binge your page! Sorry for all the notifications that are about to come your way!
This is so painful, and also so strong. Firm.
This is painstakingly beautiful. It is sad and defeat and longing and tired and fed up and so much.
Sometimes, it's the odd poem that cements our style. The first sentence is very powerful and says tons. This is an excellent piece!
This seems to me like one of my styles where I don’t speak, I don’t write, I don’t think, the keyboard just goes, I like these type, once I read what it says, nice poem McK 😊
Mackenzie, this does have a different personality compared to your current poetic style, but nonetheless, your ability to tell a story in a handful of words and setting the tone in the opening line is a golden thread through all your works. Have to agree with Randy and Dean on that. I love the rawness, the palpable anger but above all, the undertone of unsure confidence. That question in the middle - "wouldn't you prefer?" as I infer is more of an inward question than to the person this poem was written in response to. Makes it even more relatable. The words might not be as intentional as they are in your work today but that's the beauty of looking back at your past work, isn't it - to see the journey, acknowledge its evolution and be proud of it? PS I have been inactive for a while and came back to see so many of your published story notifications, so I will be getting to them as soon as I find time! :)
This felt like it came from your soul, so there is nothing you need to change here. It is perfect the way it is.
Opening line was money. Set the the tone for the rest of the poem superbly. Glad you released this.
Reading this, I kept on thinking, "The Natural" with Robert Redford. Every bit of it, from the lightning to the bat to the betrayals & heroic refusal to quit or give up. Astounding how you carry us from "I'll be here when you want me," to "The me, no longer here for you." I would say the poem feels complete to me.
It is of course without a doubt perfectly complete! It made me so emotional as I too have experienced the same thing. Loved your poem!
I absolutely love every part of this
Feels like a fight. Unforgettable rendering, I can see why you found nothing to change. I like it too! But remember lightning has only one strong strike a last life in a video game (the final bullet in a magazine)." Powerful stuff.
I do like It, it was raw and I dig that. 🖤