Her Pain

I should’ve cut you off at the first sign of disrespect, but I felt you were worth more. You played the game in front of my face and I decided to want more. I gave you another chance, against my better judgement, friends kept asking why I love this man who is definitely in love with another. See I believed in your deception, kept lying for discretion; was your bitter secret and your heavy burden even kept uplifting you through my encouragements. You played me like a sour skittles left me there in my sweet bitterness. Yet, you carried around my heart as if it was something that was freely gifted. I gave you what you didn’t deserve. So the next time I choose to love again, I will make him earn this loving dance. The flowers, the rain the joys of sunshine all comes with the walk of pain. See I gave you what I didn’t see in myself a potential to break at your exit, but my existence should’ve been your acceptance, yet the foundations of me crumbled. I stood tall but only for a little while until I was surrounded by my sinister somber. I believed you were the answers to the problems I had endured, that’s why I went so hard for you. Gave you more than I ever could and I didn’t want a gift card from you. See your cheap desires of love comes from the broken bottles of a bloody heart that beats only at your push to start yet your monetary value decreases every where it turns. I gave you a drive while you were my drivers Ed, I gave you my intellect and that explains why you love my head. You played with it on levels I never thought I could reach, my deepest desires my crazy secrets all bottled up in my creativity. See I showered you with respect and even loyalty. I held right to your secrets while you kept ignoring me, deploying me at your ownership like you were my sole proprietor, you couldn’t deny my love for God and him being my soul provider. That angered you, it made me see that the mistakes I made were made for me, a deep seated root buried beneath a surface humbled by the grace of truth. See I recognized you when you wanted no recognition, I scanned your face in hopes that it would detect something you felt you were missing. I was your third eye but the examination was an example of my breaking f there was my light you wanted to dim all for her saving. See it was my youth that carried me to a past emotional scar that took its shape like embroidery and you still keep carving me only to my craving. I invited you in so in so many words I allowed you to break me!