Her

She wears her heart on her sleeve.

She’s fought for everything she has, either in sweat, brain power, broken hearts, tears or emotional wealth.

She often fills her ears with music to stop from thinking.

She sits under the night sky, a little devils lettuce in one hand, the other longing to hold his.

She’s not someone who likes to ask for help, not because she doesn’t need it. She needs it, but she’s used to a life where she can only rely on herself.

She has eyes that intrigue you, and a smile that makes you feel comfortable. People may be drawn to either one, but she soon becomes too real, too much to handle.

She lives in a world where commitment and chivalry are most certainly dead. Yet she dreams of one day being on the receiving end of an embarrassingly big display of love.

She’s observant of people, a helpful skill and sometimes a curse. But as she’s grown older she realizes this skill came from survival. Surviving bullies, misplaced emotions and emotionally abusive men.

She knows what she brings to the table, but she’s still waiting for him to stay past the appetizers.

She works hard and with purpose. Hard work is all she’s ever known. Purpose is what she’s always seeking.

She’s learned to step back at the first sign she’s unwanted. But she has a bad habit of getting pulled right back in when needed.

She’s stopped trying to plan for any particular future, she figured out somewhere along the way that plans don’t typically go as hoped.

She wants the simple things in life that many take for granted. Expensive things are just things.

She cries more often than anyone in her life knows. She doesn’t bother telling you when she’s not okay. She knows there’s no point, because it will always turn back to you.

She doesn’t love easily, but when she does, she loves fiercely.

She longs to be chosen, fought for, longed for and earned.

She’s exhausted from being needed but never wanted.

She’s lost in a sea of commitment phobia and gaslighting.

She’s a unicorn in someways, but in others she’s the phoenix.

I am her.

She is me.