heaven

Heaven help me. I call to the cosmos because the earth clearly doesn’t speak my tongue. The winds know my name but carry it to deaf ears. The soil knows my pain but won’t share it with me. The Earth’s indifference to me reads like malice. It Sees. It can’t be ignorance. Ignorance is the realm of mortals.

Ignorance is the realm of mortals.

And I’m the mortal. If the Earth has been here eons, has been the birthplace of all my pains then it knows my and every other person’s pain. The deaf ears are mine. The bitter malice I feel is misdirected. The ignorance is mine. I can’t imagine the screams buried in the soil, the names borne by the wind that my ears are numb to. The Earth feels estranged to the children she birthed. A parent I loathe because their love didn’t take the shape I imagined.

The parent knows me better than I may ever know myself. This pain is shared. This pain is the gift. The language that binds me and every one of us. The Earth keeps trying to tell me, I’m alive. I’m so ungrateful I keep complaining to the cosmos, that other softer parent, about the life I’ve been given. The life I’ve been gifted.