Heartbroken Beyond Rage

You left my heart on the floor, shattered as if a tornado had ripped it open.

Yes, I know I was already a mess, no, mental, even crazy;

That's what you told everyone, wasn't it?

I wasn't good enough, mindless, crazy, and I was a tramp.

If heartless had a word, it just wouldn't fit what I have wanted to say to you after all these years.

What kind of guy says "I love you" to a young girl whose heart has already been ruined, only to leave her bleeding on the floor?

You don't know love.

You have the heart of a monster, but even monsters have kinder hearts than you.

No man with a true heart could go out with a woman who was vulnerable beyond breaking point, only to let her find out that his girlfriend is pregnant.

You know the truth;

You two never split whilst we were together.

She was four weeks pregnant when you decided to tell me; we had been together for six months before that.

Six months, Danny!

Were you thinking of her when you were in bed with me?

Were you thinking of me when you were in bed with her?

Go on;

Tell me your life story,

Tell me it was the alcohol and the drugs that screwed you up,

Tell me about the psychological pain you felt because of your boxing addiction, which desperately made you want to achieve fame!

I'll tell you the truth about that;

You don't have a single excuse.

Your pain is no reason to cause other women pain,

You had no right to do that.

Did you feel enough pain to cause tears when I told you I was on the street after escaping my violent past, and that I was struggling but trying to change my situation so I could get my children home from a system that ruined our lives?

Did you stop to think or even care about my pain, when I told you that your best friend had assaulted me in the hostel I was staying in, causing me to run terrified?

Were you there when I spent many lonely nights on the streets clawing my way through the mud until I bled because I lost a baby that night?

What the fuck do you know about pain?

You know nothing, Danny, nothing!

Your life was fucked up, so you decided to fuck mine up further because you couldn't fix yours.

That was twenty-seven years ago,

When I was heartbroken beyond rage.

Twenty-seven years on, I still think about you with hope, but not love.

I pray each night that you have changed your life, so that another female doesn't end up broken like I did.

I walk with a smile and with love in my heart;

Today, I'm blessed with a love and a family that I deserve,

For all the pain you put me through, these are the feelings I should have told you about, twenty-seven years ago.