Healed.

Growing up, I wanted to be anything but be like my parents.

I remember how I would would wish that I had been born into a different family.

I was nothing like them, I didn't belong.

Our house was very chaotic,

I thought my parents were ignorant and unjust.

When I was seventeen, I moved out on my own.

I couldn't have been more happier to be away from them.

"Good Riddance," I remember thinking,

As I promised myself to forever distance myself from them.

But as time went on, I realized doing adult things,

Wasn't as easy as I believed it would be.

I was the ignorant one.

As time passed, I began calling my mom for advice.

I remember calling her at 2am during my first windy storm, alone.

I was petrified.

And all I wanted was my mom.

My mom stayed on the phone with me, that night, for two hours until I fell back asleep.

I remember how I would never fully let my wall down around them,

I would continue to replay all the times my family had done me wrong,

Over and over and over, in my head.

I knew I loved them, but it was hard to trust and respect them,

When I carried around the hurt they caused me.

Some days I would let it build up to a strong hate and resentment,

Then some days I would feel my heart break as if it was a fresh wound.

These feelings went on until I was twenty-two years old.

But my relationship with my father, became very strong almost immediately after I moved out.

I began to see in him, the love he had for my family and I.

He wanted a better life for me, than what he had.

I didn't see him that way as a kid, but as I grew older,

I saw it more and more.

I began to feel overworked and unappreciated at my job,

And I didn't feel like I was making any difference in the world,

Not even a dent.

One day, my mother and I made plans to get mani and pedi's together.

As we talked during our pedicures, I ranted to her about how hard it was

To find a job that I felt like I would enjoy.

"The only jobs that reply are the jobs that I didn't like as much as others..."

I remember telling my mom.

My mom mentioned her job was hiring...

The kind of work I had always wanted to do.

To work with children and their families.

"I'll put in a word for you." My mom told me.

Well, I ended up getting the job.

Immediately, I knew this was the field meant for me.

I wanted to help people, to make a difference in their lives.

The longer I stayed in the job, I realized...

I was calling my mom almost everyday.

We would talk about our views on things,

Which surprisingly, we agreed on them.

I would ask her for advice,

And she would know just what to say.

I would rant to her about my day...

I began to realize, how the things she did to cause me hurt as a child,

Didn't hurt me anymore.

I just felt an overwhelming amount of love for her.

You see, I got to know a side of my mom that I had always refused to let myself see.

I didn't want those things to hurt me anymore.

I wanted to forgive her.

I wanted to love her.