Have you?

Have you ever felt like you were trying to keep up with those around you

Trying your hardest to match their footsteps

But instead you see your steps are smaller

The distance getting wider

You feel like you’re wading through water

While they are on dry land

Have you seen them smiling and starting their seemingly happy lives?

You know you’re happy for them and smile for them

But then you see the tape holding you together and wonder

Why you’re not happy like them ?

Why does it seem like everyone else is moving forward

… and you are frozen

24 but feel 19

You know you’re 24

should feel 24

Feel and be an adult

But your mind is frozen

You feel frozen

Smiling , laughing , running through the motions

Trying to prove that you are not a waste of space trying to not show the trauma you’ve been through because

hey

No one wants to see it

Hear it

The thought of love scares you

When before the thought of it made your world brighter

You wonder ….

how they were able to find the kind of love that doesn’t harm you

The kind that doesn’t take from you til you are hollow

Have you felt that?

Felt the sadness eating at you

Making you feel like nothing in the world would make it better?

Have you felt frozen ?

Like you can’t move

Like you’re moving in slow motion?

Can’t break free of the invisible restraints

….

Have you …?