I don't know what you're like, but I hope you're nice. My sister tells me that you're great; that you are everything anyone can dream of.
I've never met you though. You were always the celebrity that I had to look through a screen for. Sometimes through a book.
I've never had you. It's weird to think that I have waited years and years for you, and you still haven't shown yourself.
You've showed up for everyone I have ever known, yet, not for me. I need you, desperately. What do I have to do for you to show up?
I can plead, get on my knees, bow my head, and offer everything I have to just have you. Just please, let me have a chance....let me have a chance to be happy.
I have never met happiness. I don't know if I ever will. I hope that if I do, I hope it is everything that everyone has described to me, and more.
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Angel Adagio
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts7 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
I've met happiness before, only for it to be robbed from me. So I'm searching for it again now. Hope you find it too!