Happy Heavy Holidays!

Santa's present sack has nothing on me

come December's barren and empty trees.

And I think I speak for many Kings and Queens

when I say holidays are anything BUT serene.

Holidays are supposed to be special.

Holidays are supposed to be fun.

Santa, traditions, music and mirth.

You don't experience that once you've given birth.

Because now you are ARE Santa.

And you are Elf-On-Shelf.

You must decorate the tree,

And you must not fuss when they drop and break -

even the 75-year-old ornament you inherited from G-ma.

Because holidays are supposed to be magic and happy,

Don't forget to set the mood and with jolly line the halls.

I've run out of things so that I can deck out the halls.

It could be Mom's last Christmas,

So I've got to make it a blast.

Make memories for my kids with her that will last.

And don't cry over the fact that Mom won't remember,

thanks to the demon called Alzheimer's

(or dementia! It's undiagnosed for the moment)

We don't think, we just smile and act.

Because Christmas is...

Happy happy happy.

I ask Santa if he's real,

to bless her with one last holiday meal.

And Dear God to add to that,

let her feel the love that will always last.

"Mommy, can we make Santa some strawberry cookies this year?"

We do it a little late so they are still warm when Santa reaches his plate.

Santa will eat 4 and a half cookies no matter the flavor,

And the magic isn't complete without a little 'reciprocate,'

So he will leave a handwritten thank-you letter on the plate,

Scrawled in clumsy calligraphy with a real quill and a pot of ink.

Christmas lunch took me 12 hours to make,

I started at 10 P.M. when the kids were no longer awake.

The serenity sinks in after the stress.

After the feast and after the lights.

After the presents are opened.

And the christmas poppers have been popped.

For me, I get to feel when the family is asleep or gone.

When it's all said and done.

In the quiet and in the dark.

For the first time since the holidays began,

I'll REALLY look at the beautiful tree-

My body hurts, and my feet ache,

My head swims because I didn't sleep.

I'll take the tree down alone in the twilight.

It's my chance to reflect on the previous day.

And even though I was too stressed to partake -

I'm proud of the joy and happiness my stress can create.

Happy heavy holidays - And to all the Matriarchs and Patriarches that are WAY too busy/stressedto ever really get to feel the magic of the holidays that they work so hard to make perfect for their families - you all are doing amazing. Don't worry, don't stress. And try to enjoy the moment while it's happening.