Happiness is Not Easy

She knows where she wants to be

She knows what will make her happy

Yet she doesn’t know how to get there

Or how to start. Frankly, she’s terrified

Because what if it’s all real?

Then she would know that dreams come true

and miracles do happen

And there is some higher force

Higher state of consciousness

But if it’s not real, that means she

Must come to accept the likelihood that

she will live a minimally interesting life

in a mediocre place,

living a mediocre life and dying in mediocrity.

She didn’t want to die that way.

She didn’t want to just accept her fate.

(She wanted to be brave and do something real and meaningful and different. No one ever encouraged her to be like that, so even though she really wants to because she is a born leader and very talented, she gives up and accepts her fate.)

At one time she had so many aspirations

and ideas and thoughts

About the future.

One day that stopped.

She wished she hadn’t stopped dreaming

She wished for a better life for herself

But the thing is a life of happiness for her is a pipe dream,

Because in this world,

most people don’t get to do what makes them the most happy.

Take what you can get kind of thing.

That’s not the kind of life I want to live

I shouldn’t just accept settling

But I did for a long time and wasted time

Now I’m here and the only thing I know

For certain is that someday I’d like to go to somewhere

and do something important for the world.

I wish I had more of my life together by this age.

But I absolutely don’t and it’s terrifying.

Mostly because my whole life has been just taking the wrong paths.

Now I see the right path, I think. I don’t know. It’s not easy.