Half Of A Man

I can't grasp the fact I'm tired of struggling,

But my Will is wearing thin & I'm growing impatient.

As much as I try to ignore my problems it shows on my face; all seriousness, no smiles just mean mugging,

I feel nothing but this Pure Rage as if I am this shell of a man that is completely incompetent.

Making mistake after mistake,

My mind continues to play tricks on me.

I can't seem to keep up with anything; even when I'm asleep I feel the same as when I am awake,

All because I keep procrastinating & putting everything off while I just sit & day dream about being the best I can be.

I'm tired sitting on my ass as I complain,

But I'm trapped in a paradox of my own self loathing that I can't seem to escape.

I strive to make moves & use my Greatness to be a better man to make life better but I lack the focus to proceed & that is something I just can't maintain,

In the midst of my denial I only take steps with precaution but I keep falling behind because of my miscalculated steps that are placed with giant gapes.

I keep putting myself in a pigeon hold while I develop hatred for those who care,

& that is something I simply can not stand.

I find myself questioning my very purpose on this earth while I look at my own reflection as I just stare,

Because deep down in my heart I feel like a failure & from the depths of my Soul I know no matter what I do I will always be Half Of A Man...