Guilty

I don’t want to be categorized as ignorant.

But how do people endure all the media?

How do you pay attention without feeling so hurt, helpless, and guilty?

How do you pay attention when it’s everywhere?

Guilty because it wasn’t you.

Guilty because it wasn’t them.

Guilty because you’re standing in the break room watching it

on the news while they stand at the scene.

While they plan a funeral.

While they try to fight.

It could easily be you

and them in the break room instead.

I’m not ignorant

But I’m scared

How do you live wishing you were there?

You wanna ask why, but it ain’t no good

You wanna contribute, but who is it for

Them or you?

I stand with my coffee cup by the tv

I should drop this cup, or maybe

Throw it at the wall

But it ain’t no good

I go back to my desk to feel grateful that

It wasn’t me or them

But oh, how easily it could be

And the day could be inevitable

Or tomorrow.