Ground Zero (Life With ADHD)
Living with ADHD is difficult to say the least. It's hard to understand from both the inside and outside perspectives. It’s very discouraging to be misunderstood to the point where one questions every aspect of themself. Also, I imagine that it is actually frustrating for both people who live with ADHD and people who live without it, and for each their own personal reasons. Within 'Ground Zero' I reference 'These Walls' and 'My Imaginary Enemy.' I hope to shed some light, understanding and hope that some acceptance can come as a result. As note, what I've written here is just from my own personal experiences with ADHD. ADHD overall is a very large basket that affects all people who have it, children and adults, differently.
Faces
Voices
Surrounded but spacing out
Dreaming of my own space
A place where there's a place for each
Where no one can't be reached
"Are you listening?!"
"Oh, sorry I spaced out a little..."
"Is it that hard to pay attention?!"
They're speaking gibberish...
Everyone's on the same page but me-
When really, we're just reading different books
In the same world, but with different outlooks
"No I just..."
"You're being disrespectful."
"No I'm just..."
Do I have to be sorry at times I'm lost?
I'm insensitive?
Make it make sense
I hate being misunderstood
"Helloooo, c'mon get with the program!"
"You can't remember anything, can you?"
I know I'm not stupid-
But sometimes I can't truly convince myself
"You just need more discipline!"
"Is that what you think?"
I'm not lazy-
But I always have to prove it
As if they refuse to see any good in me
I'd rather they just not at all notice me
"Why can't you sit still?"
"Sorry, I'm uncomfortable."
"We'll it's bothering me..."
The problem's always me
The ignorance never ceases to amaze me
They're all their own reason-
Why I keep these walls around me
With nothing beside me but my brutal honesty
There's no more apologies coming from me
"Sometimes it's hard to stand you..."
"Then stop trying to. No one's forcing you."
Because they only see the bad in me
I cant stand how they misunderstand me
The lot of them just want to take a shot at me
The absence of any accuracy is saddening
They can see, but never notice me
They're the ugliness I see in me-
Who gave birth to my imaginary enemy
And made me hate the mirror
So, let me reflect to them what is says to me
"I'm being mean??"
She must not own a mirror-
So she screams into the one I hold in front of her
"I'm inconsiderate??"
"Last week you asked if I were illiterate..."
Inconsiderate- He thinks that isn't
Maybe he doesn't know any different
His confusion is almost innocent-
But this isn't bliss- I'm fresh out of forgiveness
"What if I asked if your ignorance is deliberate?"
I know it isn't it
Why do I give them the benefit of the doubt when their doubt gave me no benefit
Where's the end of it?
My tolerance has reached its limit
I'm not one with boundless grace
But, I have guilty pleasure in feeding them their own medicine
I'm no better than them
But I was never trying to be-
"Can you at least try to understand me?"
I'm the bar constantly out of reach
Trying to-
Escape the sea of voices below me
The maze of glares I cannot navigate
The road of judgment I somehow always find myself traveling
Within these walls of misunderstanding
Where I'm standing, this is Ground Zero
__________________________________________________
FOR CONTEXT, there's conversation taking place within the writing; the words within quotation marks ("") that are bold are from the perspective outside of ADHD, the words within quotation marks that are bold and italicized are from the perspective inside ADHD.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for reading! Here are some other stories that capture the same emotions and struggle with my experience with ADHD. It's important that I note, it is different for everyone, what I've written doesn't fully capture all of what ADHD is. Remember, you are NOT alone!!! :)
About the Creator
Josh Morgan
Personally, writing began as a creative outlet, to be a means of processing and venting emotion, but it has become so much more. Something I want not to be just relatable, enjoyable and a good read, but to reach someone who is in need.
Keep reading
More stories from Josh Morgan and writers in Poets and other communities.
Bruce Lee and The God of War: Kuan Ti
It starts with love.. The Power to the God Of War and Wealth Walk into a Chinese restaurant (even in Oklahoma, USA), a Chinese police station, a kung fu martial arts studio or even a Chinese temple and you often see a red faced warrior holding a heavy quan-do (spear like weapon).
By WILD WAYNE : The Dragon King6 days ago in Chapters
Comments (3)
Your writing skills is really amazing, i like it! Btw i also have an idea would you like to hear?
oh my! this is so similar, so relatable! Thank you so much for bringing me to this page!!! so well written!
👏👏👏