Green

All my life people have said,

“Be happy, be positive, be yourself !”

Nothing like that resides in my head.

Unless, you count eating sugar or watching Elf.

Ever since I was a little girl

I dreamt of a family, a home with a red door.

I got a baby with beautiful brown curls.

I got a life that left me wanting more.

Big white pills littered with lies,

Tan colored boxes and broken pieces.

Traveling cross country needing family ties.

Now life’s just full of bills and leases.

My baby is now all grown

Wanting the big stage and red carpet.

Avoiding a father she’s barely known.

I go through the motions like strings and a puppet.

Most days are okay, and some even beautiful.

I want to be happy. My true colors shine sometimes.

I see green fields and feel wonderful.

My heart soars when I hear wind chimes.

Everyone says I’m pretty and still young.

I still have time to find true love.

I still hope for my song to be sung.

But even the simplest compliment makes me high as a dove.

I feel pathetic, ugly and small.

I feel old, unwanted and through.

Kermit was right after all.

It’s not easy being green... or any other hue.

But even without my permission,

My heart searches for fruition.

My heart tells me keep moving on.

It’s always darkest before the dawn.