Grand Gray Illness

I lay in my white room.

White walls - Barren.

My longing for silence is met with the noise of a washing machine probably on its spin cycle in the next room.

The metal chattering like teeth against my skull.

My heartbeat meeting the same rhythm.

"Another cigarette?

or one too many?"

The air seeping through my broken window is cool & light

but in spite of it all,

my chest rests heavy.

My thoughts collecting scraps of fantasy & memory are keeping me from enjoying the book I picked up the other day...

I jot down a few words to make the mad orchestra of noise seem okay.

Then

the machine stops.

I lay back to watch the fan still spinning.

I'm grinning

at the realization

that I've been blessed

with madness.