Goodbye & Goodluck

If I was being honest with you, I still don’t understand you most days.

Looking at it now, I don’t think I was ever meant to.

After all this time, you’d think I’d know that by now. Know you I suppose.

It’s not sharp pains anymore, but subtle dull ones every so often.

Only when thinking of old times.

Old times when things were easier, not complicated between you and I.

Not painful.

Subtle dull pains knowing it’ll never be like that again, and subtle dull pains remembering how long I believed and trusted you.

It’s quite the concept to realize you can trick yourself into believing someone you deeply love.

The sharp pains only come now, when I find things, I used to write to you, things I used to write about you.

They come then, and only then when I remember who I was then.

Naively loving, believing, trusting.

You are hard for me to explain to people, and you always will be.

It all hurt, so badly.

Yet somehow, I know you never meant for it to.

I know you’ll always love me, and I know we won’t be an each other’s lives anymore.

Not because either of us did something wrong, but because we weren’t meant to be.

So, I choose to remember you in the best of ways.

As the world’s best artist, and my childhood best friend.

As the person who believed I could, as the person who will always and has always seen the world differently.

Maybe that’s what makes you a great artist, and not so great a lover?

I’m not sure, I couldn’t tell you.

I could tell you, you have endless potential, and I hope you choose to put it all to use one day.

Create a beautiful life for yourself, I’ll always believe in you.

Goodbye, and good luck.