Gone: How I Remember Losing My Girlfriend.

It only feels like yesterday when we were holding hands,

I still hear you laugh, and I smell your perfume, everywhere I go,

I wish I could look into your beautiful green eyes as I wipe away sad

tears,

But;

You are gone,

And the memory of that horrible gas explosion that took you away from me still plays in my head like a never-ending camera showing a horror film that doesn't stop,

I can still recall the events of that fateful day,

If only I had been the one to switch that horrid cooker on, you would still be here,

Well, actually, if the gasman had fitted it correctly, it would never have exploded at all,

We were talking and laughing in our usual loving way,

We were trying to decide on what Pizza we were going to eat that night,

You wanted sea-food pizza,

I wanted Cheese,

We laughed and joked over it for ten minutes before we decided we would have the Seafood pizza,

We were happy; just two beautiful women in love with each other,

Until,

You turned the oven on,

There was one big BANG before flames filled the kitchen,

It happened so fast,

That I can't remember all of it;

The most vivid and horrible memory that will stay with me for life,

Is the fact that I survived,

While you died.

The crew got me out fast,

They tried to reach you, too,

But it was too late;

You were already surrounded by flames and thick smoke,

The crew hurried me outside,

I didn't want to leave,

I was shaking,

Screaming terrified;

When they managed to take me outside,

There was another big bang that sounded like thunder,

The whole building had exploded,

Then they brought out a body on a stretcher,

Covered in a white blanket;

Heartbroken,

I froze,

Unable to move,

Unable to speak,

The silence was suffocating,

The pain of my emotions was earth-shattering,

And my heart was barely beating;

I stared at the stretcher for a whole ten minutes before they came to tell me what had happened,

"I am so sorry, we couldn't save her."

I was informed by a firefighter who had tears in his eyes;

I was in complete shock,

"She's still alive," I cried,

The firefighter shook his head, and a paramedic came to me,

Shaking his head in silence,

But my peace was broken in that silence;

Inside, I screamed words that nobody could hear,

The words would not come out,

The blood in my veins was running icy-cold,

And I shivered,

The paramedic handed me a blanket, though it did nothing to stop the bitterness of ice from consuming me,

I sat down on the floor and covered my eyes with my hands,

And I let out a piercing scream,

"GONE!!"

Those were the only words that came out before I fell into complete silence,

The Police took me home that night,

But I felt lonelier than a ghost,

I lost the will to live,

And still, I have to fight the guilt today.

My dearest girlfriend, Karen,

How I wish you were still here,

I'm sorry I survived without you,

I'm sorry I couldn't save you,

I wish I could turn back the clock,

Because if I could,

I would have died for you,

Just to save your life.