And do you? Do you mark the time you could have had?
Nigh on twenty-five, yet time seems to flit by like a hummingbird
nestling into your hair, a perpetual fertile soil, a false reminder.
I lie to myself. I say, “You’re still just a kid. You’re still learning.”
[Vase of water, evaporating] and vanity likes to take you for a drive,
evening or morning, top off and wind brushing your hair,
reveling in the ease of this. He right turns into a gushing heart,
saving the inevitable break for just after an introspective epiphany.
Again. And, so… Do you? Do you mark the time you could have had?
Ripe for the next one, blindness masked as love, wanting.
Your failures collect like condensation on a jar in the summer sun.
A/N: Thank you for reading! Totally not inspired by any real events that I'm aware of...
This was written for Real Poetic's Anniversary Acrostic Unofficial Challenge.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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Copyright Mackenzie Davis.
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Comments (14)
Lovely and sad.
The repeated question really digs it in, and "Ripe for the next one, blindness masked as love, wanting." feels like an accusation. This feels all kinds of sad, and in an accepting way almost, as if it's not going to change:/
I love this, Mackenzie! Such powerful and emotive lines. Brilliant work!
This was beautiful, start to finish
This was beautiful Mackenzie!! Your use of simile and vivid imagery really brought this poem to life for me!!
I especially loved that last line! You nailed this challenge!
Feels like this captures an entire life stage and sense of identity! Loved the last line so much!
I love that you start this poem with a question, Mackenzie. It drew me right in! And to say I haven't had thoughts like this would be a lie. I'm 28 now, and the feeling of time wasting has eased compared to when I was 25. I'm excited for what my 30's may bring, even if I may not be where I "think" I should be. That whole belief that you must have everything figured out before then...a bunch of bull. c:
Beautifully written, especially that last line..
Oh ffs. My best always feels ten behind your best. And yeah...not totally about anything eh? Usual Mackenzie MO of being about you without being about you, this feels more direct than usual though. Though...I thought you were older? lol. Also. I might reduce your name like Esala has. Well done, Davis, pal!
I absolutely love the image of the evaporating vase of water representing the aging of the speaker tying into the condensation imagery at the end! Great work.
Love this line: nestling into your hair, a perpetual fertile soil, a false reminder.
Nicely done it Davis.
"Failures collect like condensation"--great line.