From The Overflow of My Heart II

Forgive my Speech,

in saying that I'd rather not be conscious‐

I am only honest...

in what my heart has chosen to speak—

The only fantasy I'm chasing is escape,

and the only bliss I believe in is sleep, but...

I'm afraid by the time I might actually find peace...

it will be too late‐

that it will be peace, that has found me,

and not in the shape that this cloud of witnesses surrounding me would've hoped for

not even in one piece...

but in the shambles and rubble of what used to be a working body and mind,

what used to be a vessel for use...

now merely a statistic of Despair's body count.

Forgive my Doubt,

in disagreeing that this "gift" is worth living‐

in believing that this "purpose" has lost its meaning

in thinking that what energy I have left isn't worth investing—

I'm afraid I'm already ready to give up,

and I'm actually not sorry to say that hope isn't really worth having...

What the hell am I to say?...

when my face can no longer smile,

and my eyes can no longer cry‐

What's expected of what's left of me?...

of my heart, that can no longer feel,

and my mind, in all of its broken pieces‐

This vessel that is seen has seen hell...

and as a result of such, lost its ability to care...

Forgive my Apathy,

my hurtful honesty‐

I've learned the hard way, not to get my hopes up...

but I have to learn, and re‐learn that lesson every single day—

This is what's behind the mask I wear...

not that anyone ever wanted to see, this‐

but this, is the result of such suffering I've been subjected to,

this is what has come in place of what I've lost...

Love no longer lives here,

and all Enjoyment left with it‐

Hope isn't even a word I like to hear,

and so this Apathy is what I'm left with‐

I'm suppose to be looking for things to get better...

but I'm honestly not so sure how far into the future this "gift" will continue-

Forgive my Heart.

This, is its fury‐

all that would otherwise remain buried

and all that I feel I've been forced to carry—

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You For Reading!!

Here are some other very similar stories of mine! :)