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French Onion Soup

A short story

By Matty LongPublished 2 years ago 1 min read
First Place in 2023 Vocal Writing Awards - Flash Fiction

He only cooks on their anniversary. And he always wants to get everything right; it must be perfect, because she is.

Except right now he’s in the kitchen cursing, hoping she can’t hear. He’d forgotten to freeze the onions before chopping them (her old trick – stops your eyes watering), and he thinks he may have inadvertently wept into the soup, causing it to be too salty, which she won’t like.

She’d be laughing if she knew he was being so ridiculous, but thankfully she didn’t hear. She’s just waiting patiently.

Still annoyed, he checks his face in the mirror. Should be okay, at least he hasn’t spilt anything on that shirt she loves.

Where was he? Oh yes, the soup.

He fills two bowls and takes them through to the table, pours two glasses of wine, and sits down. He moves to raise a toast when, out of the corner of his eye, he notices he’s left the freezer door open. He feigns forgetting pepper and rushes back – can’t possibly let her know he left the freezer open!

As he quickly shuts it before a ready meal can escape, he remembers that he left it open when he took the onions out. Strange - maybe they just hadn’t been in long enough.

But then he turns around and sees the empty chair opposite his, the untouched glass of wine, and the bowl of soup that is doing nothing except growing cold.

And he realises why he was crying.

love poems

About the Creator

Matty Long

Jack of all trades, master of … Vocal? Especially fond of movies, watching football, country music, travelling, beer, and pizza.

X: @eardstapa_

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (11)

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  • Christy Munson2 years ago

    Compelling writing, and heart string tugging! Congratulations on your win!

  • Teresa Renton2 years ago

    Huge congratulations for your win. This was beautiful, sensitive, and heart stirring ❤️

  • Catsidhe2 years ago

    Very poignant. Congratulations!

  • Test2 years ago

    Well done! Keep pushing forward with your excellent work—congrats!

  • So incredibly well captured. Congratulations, Matty.

  • Well deserved, I definitely voted this with all 10's 🙌🏽

  • Cathy holmes2 years ago

    congratulations. This is a fabulous job.

  • Reiley2 years ago

    Coming here as a judge, this was seriously my favorite of all the stories combined. Beautiful and heartfelt. You caused my sister and I to have tears in our eyes at work. Good job on the very well-deserved win!

  • Caroline Jane2 years ago

    Congratulations. Wonderful stuff!! ❤️

  • Mackenzie Davis2 years ago

    CONGRATULATIONS!! 🍾🎊 🎉 This was my favorite of the flash pieces. Utter perfection. I’m so happy for you!!

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