Forgotten Poem

Dusk has turned to darkness, and the world quiets. In a vulnerable stupor, I begin undressing my defense. My bedroom recedes as the same memories take shape again, shape shifting from the truth into lies that I’ve sold myself. A pattern has fixed itself to a few threadbare memories- assembling a sort of puzzle. All the puzzle pieces strewn in confusion- except now, I was less so. I see blues of the same hue all over. A detail I previously missed- I’ve seen those blues before. What once was my neighborhood pool is now the ocean at my door. Speckles of purple appear across the arrangement. A shade I’ve kissed, then cried for days over, bent with pain- only to discover a different shade. Yellow bleeds into orange. When I see it, I can smell my mother’s clean T-shirts, and feel my father stroking my hair. Red arranges itself in stains, vivid where I’ve hated and envied, almost too brilliant to look at. Green is spread across the chaos- a color I’ve tasted in the mountains and streams, melting on the tip of my tongue like sugar.

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Colors continue to dance and rearrange themselves long after I’ve given up trying to make the pieces fit, and that small moment of clarity helps me drift into sleep.

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Their secrets have always been mine

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I may never realize the sum of their parts- a beautiful picture of my life.