Flying in place

I used to climb every branch without fail

I used to jump off every swing without fear

I used to chase myself onto roofs without consequence

I used to want to fly

Reality was a nightmare surrounded by abuse and mistreatment

My wings were clipped but I'm not sure when

My freedom lay in the sky I could never reach

My safety net was high up in the zenith where I swore I would end up one day

I was alone where no one could touch me

I climbed to prove I could keep up with the boys

I jumped to prove I could handle the pain I did not earn

I wanted the freedom to be me and I thought I could reach it

My soaring never soared

My escape never came

I abandoned my potential for earthly gains

I reined in my opposing nature for fear of malcontent

I cut off my contradictions so I could no longer explore

Where did this new sense of anxiety come from?

Where has it led me to?

I yearn for the melodious thuds when I landed

I couldn’t wait for the next adventure as I ascended into the sky

I miss my tree branches and my childhood swings

I felt safe in that space in between the leap and the fall

In between the jump and the landing

In between the silence and the now

There is only silence now