Flip the Script

I can’t make up my mind

Can I trust you?

What do you desire from me?

Are you trying to control me?

My mind is always calculating

Every word you say

Every gesture

Every act whether kind or not

I fear being controlled

Fear of false words

Of being betrayed one day

Losing the stability I desire

I struggle with being dependent

Even though I want you by me

I’ll keep you at arms length

Never letting you see inside

And so I will run away

I’m sorry if I hurt you

I’m trying to find security

Finding a place I can rest

And then I see you my Lord

The promises you spoke over me

Flowing over my head

And into my heart

I’ve ran away my whole life

Until you stood before me

You took my fears

And turned them into purpose

You’re why I fight everyday

You’re why I choose to love others

You’re why I choose to show up

To never back down

I still run away

But more than that

I’m able to run toward

The love I’m fighting for

I will die for my three

I will protect with all my might

I will not fear the dark

I will create a sanctuary for us

I’ll create generational wealth

Break the generational curses

Love the children I feared to lose

And create the family You desire

Never giving into fear

Pushing against the darkness

Making a way for those I love

As you have done for me Lord

I am still messy and shut down

But because of You

I stand on a firm foundation

Rooted in good soil

Thank you for loving me so well

Thank you for contending for me

Thank you for chasing after me

Allowing me to walk with you

I have a clear purpose now

Instead of running away

Now I run toward

Everything You have in store