Fire Escape for My Thoughts

I built a fire escape for my thoughts on the back of my mind like a wall,

iron-rung ladder of midnight doubts where the loudest worries crawl.

They climb out the window when bedtime comes and pace in the rusted rail,

smoking their “what if” cigarettes in a slow, blue, private hell.

~~

By day, my brain’s a tidy flat with curated, pleasant views,

a houseplant in each corner and agreeable, safe news.

But come 2 a.m., the walls grow thin, the ceiling learns to drip,

And every fear pulls on its shoes and takes that iron trip.

~~

They lean on the bars of old mistakes, graffiti made of shame,

initials carved from “too much” and “you’ll never be the same.”

My thoughts become dark tenants with their leases made of doubt,

banging pots of memory just to keep the silence out.

~~

You wonder why I laugh too loud when nothing’s really fun,

why I cancel at the last minute with a gentle, practiced “hun.”

It’s because my mind has stairwells only panic understands,

emergency exits welded on by tired, invisible hands.

~~

Sometimes I join them on the steps, a landlord of the scared,

passing out warm cups of breath to storms that feel unshared.

I tell each thought, “You’re here, I see,” instead of “Get in line,”

And slowly, one by one, they sit and let the city shine.

~~

The street below is all right now—lit windows, passing cars,

a couple arguing softly under honeymooning stars.

Up here, my worries memorize the way the lamplight bends,

and learn that nothing’s guaranteed, but neither are dead ends.

~~

One day, I’ll plant small pots of trust along that rusted ledge,

Let kindness climb like ivy ‘round the railing’s jagged edge.

The fire escape will still be there for nights that burn too hot,

But it won’t be the only door my frightened heart has got.

~~

If you find me on the metal steps, eyes distant, shoulders tight,

Know I am not just falling apart—I’m practicing my flight.

The fire in my history made me bolt this scaffold on;

I’m learning, rung by rung, that I can climb back in at dawn.