Finding a Reason

Decisions were made that I heavily regret

Found it hard to love myself since the day that we met...

It's on you for clawing at my worth

And it's on me for letting you in.

But I loved myself enough to walk away....

I did I did I did.

But I made decisions I heavily regret.

Like moving to a town that rubs me a thousand miles the wrong way

To the point where if I could,

I would leave today.

I want to go home but I don't know where that is.

I am at a place on this path in life where

I can no longer afford to give into the potent drug of ignorance...

I found out a long time ago that ignorance is an illusion.

Where I am doesn't feel safe

It's....a place of darkness, seclusion, and loneliness....

Just when I find the strength to go on,

I seem to run out like a car with bad gas mileage.

And then by some miracle it returns and the vicious cycle continues.

The pain that I am suffering through makes life feel unbearable sometimes...

But for some reason, I still get out of bed in the morning,

And it's as if my heart is pushing me to find that reason.